C.H.B. ARC Reviews: “Calico’s Millionaire Rancher” By Kayla White

C.H.B. ARC Reviews: “Calico’s Millionaire Rancher” By Kayla White

Available: Amazon; Goodreads

**Disclaimer: I received a free ARC copy from the author in exchange for review. This does not affect my review whatsoever.**

Goodreads Description

“Calico’s Millionaire Rancher is a true story, but it reads like a novel. The central character has a complex and innocent personality, yet surprisingly intriguing. Her name is Luna. After escaping a terrifying relationship, she leaves her family and home town..disheartened. 

After meeting Michael…Luna couldn’t resist. Her mind was spinning. She had told him the truth and he didn’t believe her. Placing her hands on his chest she felt his heartbeat like the thumping foot of a rabbit…until something completely unexpected happened. It has to do with her past. She might not make it alive. 

Calico’s Millionaire Rancher is over-the-top sweet, with a scoop of sexy steam and…a bad boy: “If you make another sound I’m going to kill that cowboy you snuck off with.” Doc took a step closer. “And I’m going to make you watch the whole thing because it will be your fault. It’s your fault that I have to do this.” 

Warning: This ridiculously intense western bad boy romance is just as sweet as it sounds. Saddle up and take an evening stroll with this amazing quickie!”

This story has potential. By it’s description alone, it screams potential. The biggest problem I had reading it, though, was the fact my editing brain was turned on high alert. Like a few readers/Writers, I suffer from “Editor’s Brain.” It’s kind of like where if you see errors in a sentence, clunky passages needing to be re-written, or even a break in your imagination because of an awkward set of words that you ache to fix. Yeah, that’s my brain. It’s not always on but when it is triggered, Woo Boy, you better believe it’s on a rampage.

It’s a cute, short story about a young woman who is running away to a new town in order to leave the past which includes a stalker/abusive ex-boyfriend, behind her. She reaches this small little town in Oklahoma where she is quickly taken in by an old rancher and his family. However, she needs to impress the old rancher’s son Michael before her new future falls apart.

Don’t get me wrong, I fell in love with Michael’s father and his quirky antics. But I needed more information on Luna, her family, etc.. I understand it’s a short story but I needed a little more. Forty pages was not enough to establish a clear beginning, middle, climax, and proper ending. The rushed ending left me in a bind because it came out of no where and it didn’t make much sense.

Then there’s the dialogue. It felt it was a little awkward for Luna to say things about how she knew her figure affected the way men acted towards her when we barely know her as a character. It kind of made me think she was self-centered, especially around any person who happened to be male. Whenever she’d say the “of course men stare at my body and women feel threatened”-like speech It’s like come on, girl. Stop.

Editing. I cannot stress enough how important editing is to a story. A story can have potential of becoming something memorable and cherished for generations. However, if it is not thoroughly edited, it can be left behind. This short story needed to be edited, longer, and more elaboration.

My Rating: 5 out of 10 Book Charms

Happy Reading,

~C.C.

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